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My Mother Recaps Week Six

Bears lose to the Lions, 37-34
[Recorded on Friday, October 23rd.]
Mom: I am ready to start. Do you have a question for me. 
Interviewer: Do I have a question for you?
Mom: Yeah. 
Interviewer: What did you think about the Bears game?
Mom: Oh, the Bears game. Well, they played the Detroit Lions. And the Lions had not won a game before that. So it was Lions and Football and Bears, oh my! That's good, huh? 
Interviewer: Did you work on that for awhile? 
Mom: Yeah, I thought about it myself. Yeah, Lions and Football and Bears, oh my. So, the Bears have a good running back. Eddie Royal.
Interviewer: No. What? Running back? Running back is Matt Forte.
Mom: Well, who's Eddie Royal then? 
Interviewer: He's a wide receiver. 
Mom: I think he was playing running back. 
Interviewer: He might have got a handoff or something. I don't know. But he wasn't playing running back the whole time or whatever. 
Mom: Maybe not. But he's only five-foot-nine. And he was, I thought they said, he was a wide receiver but he played running back... but maybe he's just a wide receiver. And he's a return specialist. Well, he looked good. And then I thought Cutler, he looked a lot better with his screen passes. He can actually make them now, he has good protection. And it's kind of funny because all of these newscasters, they love Cutler. Like he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. 
Interviewer: Everyone's so stupid. 
Mom: They're all fickle. I could see in Chicago like loving him or hating him, but these broadcasters, either you like him or you don't. The national sportscasters. Now he's wonderful.
Interviewer: Especially it's because they had the back-up play, and he was horrible. 
Mom: That's true. Maybe that's what Chicago needed. Anyway--
Interviewer: You don't know what you got until it's gone, mom. 
Mom: Huh? 
Interviewer: You don't know what you got until it's gone. 
Mom: That's true. You may put that in the article. You don't know what you got until it's gone, says my son. Ha. Oh, and I saw Robbie Gold... Gould... Gold. How do you say his last name? 
Interviewer: I think it's Robbie Gold
Mom: But it's spelled like Gould, right? 
Interviewer: Yeah. 
Mom: So, Robbie Gould. He has not missed a field goal this year. That is good. It really didn't help our record that much. We almost won the game because of him.
Interviewer: Did you watch the game? 
Mom: Yeah. 
Interviewer: Was it frustrating? 
Mom: Yeah. 
Interviewer: Why? 
Mom: 'Cause we lost!
Interviewer: Okay. But what happened during the loss?
Mom: I mean, we were all like, oh, we lost. During overtime. Right? 
Interviewer: Yeah, they lost during overtime, and there were some really bad calls from what I remember...
Mom: I can't remember all of that. But I do remember that [Jeremy] Langford looked great. You know, he went to your school. And he got a touchdown. Okay, now let's get into the real interesting topic. Uniforms.  Remember I told you that guy on the Bears had golden cleats on his shoes. You know why? Because it's the golden anniversary of the NFL. So, people have different gold things on their uniforms, gold affects. Yeah. And then you know the other teams re-did their jerseys and stuff, their uniforms.
Interviewer: Yeah.
Mom: I thought the Lions looked ugly. It looks like a girdle. Their jerseys. It's like two-toned, and then it comes in at the waist, it doesn't look good. At home it looks like a kitten. Yeah, so it was the Bears against the Kittens. Or the C's against the Kittens. And the Kittens won. 
Interviewer: The Kittens won, that's right. 
Mom: So, that's all. The next week they have a bye, and then they play the Vikings. So, I'll be interested to see their helmets and their uniforms. But that's all I have. No football this week. 
Interviewer: Happy Halloween to everyone. 
Mom: Happy Halloween isn't until next week. 
Interviewer: Yeah, but you won't have picks until after. 
Mom: Oh, yeah. Happy Halloween to everybody, is that what you want me to say? Are you coaching me to say Happy Halloween? 
Interviewer: I don't care what you say. 
Mom: Happy Halloween and Happy All Saints Day. There.